I was telling Barbara that I really might’ve forgotten that today is my birthday if it wasn’t for her and Facebook.
They just don’t mean as much after 21, and 40 (next year) doesn’t bother me.
I’ve got a good life.
I’ve always had a good life.
I admit that things went wrong with me when I was a kid, but, all things considered, this left me with a minimal amount of baggage. I honestly forget that there was a “difficult” part of my life because everything has gone so easily for the past 15 years or so.
This last year has been cool.
It has given me the opportunity to learn to write more effectively, to develop a website and mailing list and learn a little about SEO and things like that. However, I have realized that I have reached the limit of what I can do on my own and that it’s time to invest in letting other people do it more effectively.
I know I’m older, but I feel better than I did a year ago.
My diet is better, I do more in a given day and I am more balanced with my time. I’ve been more consistent about working out over the last year than ever before. Still not good, but better. I’ve built a decent subscriber list and launched a podcast that has gotten a lot more downloads than I ever anticipated. I’ve taken courses over different aspects of all of this, joined and left a few groups. I am preparing to have my first guest on the podcast.
But here’s the thing: in my day-to-day life, I don’t feel like I am doing anything at all. I feel like I am wasting time and that this whole thing I am trying to do with the website and everything is never going to gain any traction or go anywhere. It all feels stagnant and stupid and useless because I am in the middle of it.
Birthdays and anniversaries and other milestones are a good time to step back and take in the bigger picture.
I am happy with what I’ve done over the last year. I could not always say this about my life. We are always moving in a direction, it can just be hard to see. Milestones help us decide if we like the direction or not.
If we don’t like the direction, it is time to make a change.
It is really that simple.
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I write, podcast and make videos about living in freedom through mindfulness, intentionality, compassion, and equanimity.
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