A Smile in Your Heart
So, a middle finger in your heart is not the best way to go. This seems obvious. It is disingenuous and dishonest and will eventually come out in passive aggressive ways.
But how does one develop a true smile in their heart?
How do we cultivate a desire to want the best for others instead of wishing a fiery death on them?
I think there are a few ways.
Understand that everyone has a reason for doing whatever it is they are doing. Look at the things you do, and think about how they make sense to you. Give other people the credit for doing the same. They are, for the most part, rational beings doing the best they can with what they have.
Don’t make maliciousness your go-to motive with other people. Most things are much easier to explain with incompetence than any sort of ill-intention. Even intentional maliciousness can be seen as incompetence in knowing how to deal with something.
Ask yourself if there is a way to help rather than judging. We automatically feel connected to people when we are helping them, and we are more likely to assess them positively. Try it.
I like to remember that everyone was a baby once, all cute and innocent. The world made them the way we are. We naturally see ourselves as a result of our environments, the same applies to other people.
It’s much easier to go through life giving other people the same amount of grace and slack we give ourselves. It naturally creates a sense of connection and compassion for others, which makes it much easier not to want them dead.
It’s much better to have a smile in your heart than a middle finger.