In Relationship

Everything is a relationship.


A relationship with something is different than it being part of us, but it is hard to determine exactly where this all begins and ends. This is important because it is harder to justify taking things personally when they are a relationship between two things rather than something that is solely about us.

Some relationships are obvious.

Our significant others, our kids, our friends, our coworkers, etc. These are obviously not all about us. We have these other people trying to make things happen for themselves and trying to bring their desires to fruition. We, if we are not mindful, are doing the same thing. Whatever the case, these exist outside of us. They are doing their thing, we are doing ours, it’s how these things interact that cause us contentment or struggle.

Actually, it is our perspective on (or relationship to) how these things play out that cause us contentment or struggle.

I know it’s weird to think of things in this way, but everything is really just a relationship and we can choose who and how we want to be in relation to it. For real, everything.

Things happen to us and around us and inside of us, and we have to decide how we are going to react. We have to choose our position toward these things. This will change the nature of the relationship to those things.

I like this because it keeps us focused on what we can control and leaves the rest where it belongs. To chance or fate or karma or the Norns or in God’s hands. However you quantify that uncontrollable aspect of life, which is most of life.

Choosing our relationship to everything changes everything.

It is where our power lies.

It’s really the only power we have.

Humans are Cool, I Need Some Sleep

Not sleeping is really starting to wear on me.

I am in this weird place where I am exhausted and very awake at the same time and everything seems a little darker. Basic conversation is starting to be difficult, and I get a little headrush when I stand up. It’s definitely something to work with.

It’s kind of funny how out of the loop I am on things. We started watching Rogue One this week, I would have watched it a long time ago if I’d known Mads Mikkelsen was in it. I did hear that the Emoji Movie has one of the lowest ratings possible, which makes me pretty happy. I cannot help but pre-judge a movie that takes place in “Textopolis”. Maybe there will be jail time for some of the actors for being in it.

I’ve been reading a lot of stuff about the Stone Age and Bronze Age.

I really like the human story and the stretch of people that connects all of us in the distant past. I love the idea that we were really nothing special at one time, but the bravery and ingenuity of our ancestors allowed us to spread out over the entire planet as the dominant species. It also makes all the things that divide us and a majority of our modern theoretical/philosophical approaches to all of it seem really insane.

That’s all I’ve got, I am fading.

Read something cool today. Do some work with your hands. Go outside. Tell someone you love them.

Thanks for reading.

A Beautiful and Unique Snowflake

My sleep schedule has been really jacked up for the past few weeks.

I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night (12:33 or 2:33 to be precise) and not being able to go back to sleep until around 5 or 6, if at all. It doesn’t bother me all that much, but it is starting to wear on me physically. I noticed I got pretty out of breath just wrestling with Max last night and I am craving huge amounts of sugar and carbs, neither of which is good for me.

There is nothing personal going on here though, nothing worth frustration or annoyance.

I am exhausted, but this is just a thing that is happening. No one is doing this to me. I am not worried or anxious about anything. I do not think this is indicative of some deeper issue. I go through these phases of weird sleep schedules, this is one of them.

It’s not even a bad thing unless I get myself in opposition to it.

I won’t suffer from this unless I start thinking it needs to be different. As it is, it has been a great way to get the blog written and published each night. I’ve done a lot of work on the website. I’ve gotten a lot of reading out done. I even got to play Skyrim for an hour or two one night.

My body will hit a point of exhaustion where it corrects itself.

It’s already happening. I have a dull headache, my stomach hurts. I keep twisting my ankle. I don’t need sleep aids or alcohol to fix this, it will work itself out eventually. Until then, I’ll embrace it and make the most of it. Maybe I’ll start a secret fighting group that you aren’t supposed to talk about. We’ll eventually blow up some buildings.

I’ve got the time now…

Thanks for reading, enjoy your Saturday.

Maybe You Should Care. Or Not.

I see a lot of stuff about how we shouldn’t care what other people think.

Most of it is on catchy little pictures that people post on Facebook and Instagram. There’s almost always a sunset involved. Maybe the phrase “do you” or a quote about lions and sheep.

I get the impetus for these kinds of ideas.

We live in a world where we are easily driven by what other people think and what other people have to say. Caring what the general person of day-to-day America thinks about you is straight up suicidal because we live in a society that seems to take a gleeful pleasure in breaking people down and making them feel terrible about themselves. We love seeing people roasted and destroyed over their eyebrows and shoes and choice of life partner.

Allowing yourself to invest in what everyone else thinks is self-destructive.

That being said, there is also a certain level of insanity or sheer arrogance in trying to live without the input of those around us. There are people out there who really don’t care what anyone thinks. You can find them in prison or existing on the fringes of society. Their lives are littered with broken relationships and people they have taken advantage of. They have diagnoses like “psychopath”.

It’s not a healthy way to be either.

So where is the line here?

How do we determine who we should listen to and who we should ignore?

I am not sure there is a perfect way to determine this, or a perfect set of guidelines we can use to make this choice. A lot of it may come down to what we are looking for and who we want to be. In general, I try to have people in my life who I respect and trust and to give them the benefit of the doubt when they offer me advice or criticism. If I automatically bristle at someone’s advice, I have to ask myself if it is pride jumping up or if I simply don’t respect what they have to say. If I do not respect their opinion I need to explore just why this is.

The big task is to not get too invested in what the wrong people think, while listening to what the right people have to offer.

I am not sure I do very well at any of this.

Who are the people you listen to?

What earned them this place of privilege in your life?

Are they the best suited for the job?

The Real World

I am really tired of talking about intoxication so we are shifting gears.

I like dealing with reality as much as I can.

I am familiar with the different theories and ideas about how we can never truly engage it, but can only touch it through ideas and preconceptions and beliefs. I tend to agree with them.

We’ve talked about this in a couple of different ways over the past year. Our mind as a lens or mirror for reality, but never a direct apprehension. We are clouded by beliefs and preconceptions and prejudices and wants and needs and desires and simple refusals to accept things as they are. These are all things between us and a direct experience of reality. There’s even a small delay in everything we are responding to due to light having to travel a distance, no matter how quickly it does it.

This is why I encourage people away from intoxication. The mirror is already smudgy, the lens is cloudy – why make it worse?

There is a presupposition on my part here as well though: the idea that reality is in some way inherently superior to altered reality, or that there is something inherently good about being in touch with it. Some may disagree with me on this, and that’s cool. People do what they do, I really don’t have a problem with that.

For me, I choose reality.

As much as I can. I try to keep the mirror streak-free. This world is infinitely fascinating, there is never any excuse for boredom. Every experience deserves our attention, no matter how painful or uncomfortable or icky, simply because it is our experience. We are little outside our experience, it is what creates us and makes everything that we would call our lives.

It all deserves our clear attention.