I used to do a lot marital and premarital counseling before I realized that I am not smart enough for it. There are too many plates spinning for me. I like one-on-one relationships where I can be very honest with people without having to worry about their partner using it against them.
One thing that working with couples made me believe very deeply is that who we choose as a life partner is one of the most important decisions we will ever make.
I always tell people that getting into a committed relationship with someone is like tying your boat to theirs. If they go over a waterfall, you go with them.
Today is Barbara’s birthday. I tied my boat to hers almost ten years ago now, and I have been grateful for that ever since. Not only does she not take us over waterfalls, she tends to go in the same direction I am going and forces me outside of my comfort zone pretty often. She keeps me from going over waterfalls.
Barbara is cool. She likes being around people and doing cool stuff. She likes being involved in things and having friends. If you know me very well, you are laughing right now because these are not my favorite things. I have experienced some fun stuff because of how she is.
She has a soft heart and cries quickly, sometimes over tribute videos to professional wrestlers. She is kind hearted to the point of having a difficulty saying anything mean or harsh to anyone. She is truly modest – not only does she never post selfies, I will be in trouble for whatever picture I choose to put with this post.
So I chose a bunch of pictures.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Family means more to her than anything else. My parents love her. Her parents love her. She and Tyler have a neat relationship. My grandma thinks she hung the moon. They wear their robes together and drink coffee on the couch. I call them the Ladies of Luxury.
I got really lucky with who I tied my boat to.
Barbara is a great mom and wife, and we have a lot of fun together. We are building a life, and I am glad she is my partner in all of this. I was a difficult husband for the first few years of our marriage, and she stuck with me. I am still a difficult husband sometimes, and she still sticks with me. We are both growing and evolving together, and that’s pretty cool.
Happy Birthday, Biz.
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I write, podcast and make videos about living in freedom through mindfulness, intentionality, compassion, and equanimity.
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