Sunday Round-Up #4

by | Feb 8, 2017 | Blog

Welcome to the Sunday Round –Up, where we look at stuff I have found to be cool or useful. I realized the last three reminded me of Tim Ferriss’ “Five Bullet Friday” emails more than I would like, so I am trying to switch it up and find a good format. You should sign up for Tim Ferriss’ Five Bullet Friday, while we’re talking about it.

A Documentary: Eddie-Strongman. This is a documentary about a guy working toward being the World’s Strongest Man. No matter what one thinks of his goal or him as a person or anything else, there is something to be said for having a goal and dedicating yourself to it without any distractions.

A Movie: Spotlight. I know, I’m always behind, it was apparently a big deal a while back. Apart from the content being important, I loved seeing what felt like an old-school movie. No gimmicks, no green screen, no action, just a compelling story with great acting. Well worth the time. Probably actually important to see.

An Article on Meditation: One of the best explanations of mindfulness, meditation and a generally useful perspective I have ever read. Read it a few times.

Just a Cool Article: This Russian family fled persecution, lived out in Siberia, and didn’t know about WWII.

Something Worth Seeing (if you live close to me): Palo Duro Canyon. I mentioned it in Monday’s blog, but in the context of being mindful in the midst of people who aren’t acting like I think they should. This place is beautiful, and exemplifies the idea that anywhere can be captivating if you let it. We get a bad rap for scenery out here in West Texas, but I love it. The little Burger Shop down in the canyon is great too. Really fortunate to spend a day there with my son.

Coming Up: This next week we will take a deeper look at a mindful lifestyle, the universality of pain and will begin to look specifically at Stoicism and what it can offer us.

Thank you for reading, have a great day.

The Reality Fad

by | Feb 7, 2017 | Blog

The mindfulness fad seems to be losing steam.

I am always happy to see a fad die, especially when it takes something that requires practice and discipline and turns it into a few pithy words and practices that a counselor or life coach or television host can sell to you.

Don’t get me wrong, I like that so many people became accustomed with the idea of slowing down and being in the moment, but I think the fad nature of the presentation taught a shallow, temporary version of a long-term lifestyle that didn’t stick, and many people have likely moved on because mindfulness “doesn’t work”.

I encourage people to invest in a mindful life, to see mindfulness and mediation as lifestyles rather than simple practices or “life hacks”.

Being mindful isn’t some trick to escape anxiety and not be bored in class, it’s an engagement with reality that we often miss because our brains are so busy filling all empty space with thoughts and opinions and random music. A mindful lifestyle is more than simply taking note of what’s going on around us with acceptance every time a little alarm goes off on our phone, it about coming into who we really are and engaging life as it really is.

There aren’t apps that can do this for you, there is not a video on YouTube that can make it happen and anyone who promises to “give” it to you is full of shit.

Living a more mindful life is a daily and hourly and every second process. It’s a discipline, but I am not sure it is fair to call it work. It is allowing yourself to settle into what is real, without all the judgments and expectations that our mind brings to the table. It is allowing yourself to lean into every moment, no matter what it is offering, with acceptance.

It is about embracing what comes your way simply because it is coming your way.

Sometimes it is about stopping your blog where it is because Max is awake and wants to hang out.

Take a moment today and explore the difference between the situations you are in and your judgments about them.

What would things look like without the story in your head?

How would you feel without your expectations?

Disconnecting

by | Feb 6, 2017 | Blog

Yesterday’s blog made me think about ways I could further remove myself from my phone and the internet and Netflix and human society. I realize the last one is probably a few years down the line, but the other two are more within my grasp.

Here are my ideas:

Only check texts/emails/anything at all at certain times instead of whenever I have a free moment. Shift to batching these things.

Only go on Facebook long enough to post my blog and reply to things. Definitely no clicking on the stupid news stories they post in the sidebar. Except that I already read about the substitute teacher in Oklahoma who got arrested for doing cartwheels with no underwear on. This pretty much explains why I won’t be looking at the sidebar anymore.

No Netflix or video games until I’ve written at least 1000 words that day. I don’t watch a lot of television or play a lot of video games in comparison to most people I know, but it is still more than I would like, and I think they serve as a sort of retreat for me. I notice that the more tired I get or the harder the day was, the more likely I am to just park in front of the television.

This is the big one: no non-essential internet use. This kills Reddit for me, but it probably needs to be done. I use the internet for a lot of worthwhile stuff, but I also browse a lot of stupid shit and then post it on Facebook. It’s odd that I get joy from people “liking” or commenting on something I found, but it’s there. This will cut on back on consuming the news as well, which is always toxic, but especially so right now.

I am sure there are other ways to disconnect, and I will find them as I go.

It is really sad how much time we waste on the internet, when it has the potential to be something that saves us time.

It is troubling how much energy we waste on things we cannot control because the internet is putting them in our face 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

I get that we all need to be informed, but being obsessed over things that we cannot do anything about is pointless and detrimental to our health. Time we spend on things we cannot control is taken from the things we can.

Install the Moment app on your iPhone or Quality Time for Android, and see how much time you spend engaged electronically. Remember that these do not even address time spent on laptops or the television. Decide if this is the best way to spend the limited time you have on this planet.

Says the guy who’s already spent 45 minutes at his computer by 5:15am. Have a great day.

No Alerts

by | Feb 5, 2017 | Blog

Think of how quickly you grab your phone when you hear it make a noise or feel it vibrate.

It’s automatic for most of us, our phones and social media and texts keep us in a state of reactivity these days.

Do you ever feel a twinge of disappointment when you look at your phone and you don’t have any alerts?

We get a little hit of dopamine every time we have something waiting for us on our phone, whether it’s a text message from our mom or a notification that someone we don’t even know repinned something we didn’t create on a website full of pictures.

It’s an odd thing too, because for the most part these things are not real.

Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and Snapchat. So many news outlets that we don’t even know which one we can believe anymore, if we can believe any of them. All these fake worlds that we have (very rapidly) become accustomed to and have accepted as part of our real lives. Even most texts seem to unnecessary, and not real communication, and they are not a good medium for real talk anyway. I regularly have to discourage people from having real conversations via text because it rarely goes well.

I realized at some point that I had a wave of anxiety anytime I looked at my phone, so I decided to turn off all the alerts, and moved all of my social media/communication apps into their own folder, that I have to swipe through 6 separate pages to get to. Nothing pops up on my lock screen except phone calls (I figure if people really need something, they will call). I actually tried to go smartphone free, but found it made it too difficult to run my business because phones have done this really insidious thing where they have made moves into almost every aspect of our lives.

So now, nothing gets to push through my closed phone and prompt me into action.

Or, more accurately, into reaction.

We are not taking action with our phones, but are often simply reacting to their demand that we check to see what app made the noise.

Being reactive is the opposite of being mindful, being driven is the opposite of being intentional.

Give it a try yourself.

Notice the little twitch that goes through your fingers when you haven’t checked your phone for a while. Make note of your emotions when you realize you don’t have any new alerts, and when you do.

How much of our lives do we let these little pieces of plastic control?

How much should we invest in these fake virtual worlds?

Please note that the person asking this question is about to post his blog on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and his own website.

I Was Wrong Wednesday – My Opinion

by | Feb 4, 2017 | Blog

Well, the very first thing I was wrong about today was remembering that I have a plan for Wednesdays now and wrote about the wrong topic. At least tomorrow is taken care.

I went and scrubbed my Facebook timeline a while back, back when the extensions that did that still worked because I had become deeply embarrassed by how opinionated I was, and how antagonistically I expressed those opinions. I used to get a kick out of making other people angry, and I honestly used to think I was right about things.

I cringe a little when I think about both the content of those opinions, and in how I expressed them, but the latter issue bothers me more.

We all have bad opinions over the course of our lives.

I used to think those Hammer Pants with oversized sweatshirts looked awesome.

I thought Poison was the height of coolness and manhood.

I thought sprinkling French into my day-to-day conversations like Gambit from the X-Men would make girls like me.

These were all just annoying adolescent and teenage phases and ideas, born of not being in touch in with reality and having no self-esteem. Weird and embarrassing, but not harmful.

Once I started college and got all smart, the idea that my opinions were right got put on steroids, and I think I was unbearable a lot of the time. I remember posting statuses about different topics that started massive arguments between friends and family, and I often had real-world arguments with people who were wiser than me because I thought I knew everything.

I try really hard not to be attached to my opinions these days, and I am continually fascinated with how easily they can change if I just shift what kind of information I am consuming. I find a deep contentment in understanding that my opinions are nothing more than opinions, and that they will change and evolve and I will be embarrassed about some of the things I believe now.

What are your strongest opinions?

Have you tested them?

Just because we are entitled to something doesn’t make it worthwhile or True.

But that’s just my current opinion.