We’ll take a break from gratitude for a while after this one. I still have a big list of things to be grateful for, but it might be nice to have some variety.
Man, this one is tough for me.
Being a teenager sucks, and it was probably the worst time of my life.
I was miserable, there was something wrong with me, and I struggled. I was annoying and full of shit and self-centered and difficult and emotional.
I have to work to have gratitude toward that kid for getting through that time, because I am often so ashamed of him and how he acted so much of the time.
I just dislike who I was.
But, I get it. I don’t think that much of anyone knew how hard I struggled, because I tried to mask it behind rebellion and being too cool for things. I was deeply depressed and trying to deal with some things that I had no frame of reference for.
I did the best I could with what I had, that just wasn’t very good unfortunately.
I was lucky, things got a better over time. I found some good friends, I tried to make some changes, but I had already developed some habits and ways of existing that were difficult to break. I suppose I owe my 20-something self gratitude for fighting those battles.
It can be difficult to even forgive ourselves for how we behave during difficult times in our life, much less have gratitude to our younger selves for surviving and getting through them.
I try to be conscious of this and be kind and grateful to the memory of teenage me.
I suppose someone has to.
Take care.
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