It’s Not You, It’s Me

by | Sep 2, 2017 | Blog

It’s Not Me

I like to think that I struggle because of other people.

I tell myself that most of the problems in my life come from other people’s decisions, rather than my own.

I keep my stuff in line.

I take care of what I need to take care of.

I do what I need to do.

I maintain.

I.

I.

I. 

Much of the frustration or inconvenience in my life is the result of other people not keeping their stuff in line, not taking care of what they need to take care of, not maintaining.

This is what my mind likes to tell me at least.

Fine, It Is Me

The first problem with this idea is that I am, of course, not perfect and am, at the very least, responsible for some of the difficulty in my life. The second problem is that when I am focused on what other people are doing, I am not focused on what I am doing. Lastly, it is my response that is causing me trouble here. I cannot see that if I am looking at everyone around me.

It is delusional to think we are not the source of our suffering – other people can bring us pain and annoyance and difficulty, but these things only turn into suffering through our perspective on them.

So, instead of looking at what everyone around me is doing, it may be easier if I focus on my response to it. Even if I was all great and cool and perfect, other people would be able to bring me suffering if my response to their actions was not great and cool and perfect. The good news is that I can avoid suffering even though I am deeply flawed and profoundly foolish.

Maybe.

Eat Everything

by | Sep 1, 2017 | Blog

Eat Everything

It’s funny that this is the post that I lost when Word just crashed on me. I did not handle it with equanimity. It had already been a tough day at the end of a tough week. I was going to catalog it all in detail but decided I didn’t want to give the difficulties that much air time.

Ram Dass talks about how everything is “grist for the mill” of awakening or enlightenment or growth or evolution, whatever you want to call it. You get grist by separating the grain from the chaff before grinding it into flour. It is on its way to being something useful and nourishing.  Bad experiences and tough days are no different.

We can choose our perspective on what happens. It can be debilitating and unfair, or it can be fuel for growth and seeds for evolution.  You can explain this however you want – God’s will, karma, the universe helping you out, whatever. It can simply be an intentional stance we take, a chosen perspective that no matter what happens we are going to grow from it and be better on the other side. A decision to choose our reaction.

Eat the Weeds

We can’t always choose what kind of seeds life plants for us. Sometimes it’s roses. Sometimes it’s just thorns. We can be mindful of what we plant, but a few weeds are going to slip through. We can resist and resent these, or we can learn to eat weeds.

If we can learn to do that, the weeds don’t matter anymore.

It’s all just food.